At first, it seemed to me like a violation of her human dignity not to inform her that her son had died. My mother, who has dementia, hasn’t been told that my brother died more than four years ago. Meeting the person with Alzheimer’s where they are in the moment is the most compassionate thing a caregiver can do.īeth Kallmyer Chicago The writer is vice president for care and support at the Alzheimer’s Association. Interactions should emphasize connection, not correction. It’s about finding ways to connect that makes sense to the person while keeping them safe, secure and comfortable.īeing honest and truthful is the recommended first course of action, but when statements are upsetting, agitating or confusing a person with the disease, caregivers may want to consider another approach.Ĭaregivers should be flexible and find ways to communicate with the person that makes sense to them. Not sharing absolute truths with a family member living with dementia is not about deception. Jauhar shares a valuable lesson that can benefit many dementia caregivers while showing love and compassion to individuals affected by Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Re “ When My Father Got Alzheimer’s, I Had to Learn to Lie to Him,” by Sandeep Jauhar (Opinion guest essay,, April 7):ĭr.
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